Is anger sadness in disguise?

Anger, that burning feeling that comes up inside us, often seems straightforward. Someone cut you off, you are mad; a rude interaction with someone, you are angry. In the moment, it feels right, immediate and sometimes even powerful.

But what if anger isn’t as simple as it seems? Could it be that it’s not always the main feeling at play, but rather a cover for something deeper?

Anger can be a defence mechanism, a response to other emotions like sadness or fear. It’s like a mask we wear to conceal what’s actually going on underneath the surface. In some cases, such as brief experiences with rudeness or inconsideration, our anger may be genuine and immediate. But what about when anger persists, boiling long after the initial trigger has passed? What about when it occurs in response to circumstances that are deeply personal to us, like the loss of a loved one or the betrayal of a friend?

In those moments, if we pause to reflect, we might find that anger isn’t the whole story. It might be a cover up for something more vulnerable: sadness.

It’s natural to feel sadness when someone we care about hurts us, when life throws us unexpected challenges, when we confront lingering shadows from our childhood, or when we are treated unfairly.